Selling Mom's House
The post-World War II parents are now in their 80-90's and yes,some of them are just now thinking about selling their houses. They are typically very practical and independent people and never want to move in with the kids or to assisted care. Just this past week I got two phone calls to meet with sellers and their family members about selling the "house." Now get this, they are just in the thinking phase. Mom is 88 and not sure if she wants to move out. I think mentally that seller sees herself in her 70's. I am starting to think once we are past 45 we see ourselves as 10 years younger. I know I do. I can't fault these older people for not wanting to think they can't continue to live in the house.
The problem is that some seniors should not be in their houses any longer. They are taking risks that could be dangerous. Their vision, sense of hearing and smell are reduced. They might not remember they left the stove on and don't smell the smoke in enough time. In many senior apartments this incident happens frequently and there is a staff to assist.
The reason why some home owners do not move is that the challenge of moving seems too much. They are scared of the unknown. Change in itself is scary. They are held prisoners by all their "stuff." They have no idea where to go and they don 't want to bother their family members. The idea of living somewhere else without their spouse seems wrong and perhaps expensive.
I meet with families and we discuss alternatives that might work. Often I will visit alternative living places with them to show them alternatives. I have estate companies help them see the forest through the trees. We talk about selling the house"as is" or making improvements. This is not an easy task and everyone needs to tread softly. The home owner does not want to hear their place is not appreciated and family members don't want to hear about all the work and who will pay for it.
Understanding, kindness, and empathy will help families get through this.Best lesson to learn is that as children of this age group we need to toss crap and get out of our houses before the kids come and say to us, " you are old and now what do we do with you." I want to stay in control and do it in style.
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