So many times when I help buyers buy houses, they talk about the family and friends they want to have over at holiday time. They select properties based on the several times a year they have these gatherings. I also have sellers who tell me they cannot sell the family home as who would hold the family dinners?
Buyers object to a house for too many steps and Gramps could not make it up and into the house. The kitchen is too small ,and they could not have the cousins in there to mash the potatoes and stir the gravy. They need the fourth bedroom and second full bath for relatives to use when they spend the night. The dinning room could not hold 24 people. The basement is not large enough for the big screen t.v. to watch the football game on. They have to buy on"this" side of town as Mom and Dad won't come if they are forced to cross the river. The concerns don't stop as they dream of this house, and the holiday traditions they will establish in it
Parents just are not ready to sell the house that they raised the family in. The major reason is they need this big house to have the kids and their kids over for the big holidays. Each year they go through the same rituals as to who will sleep in whose room. Old baby cribs are pulled down from the attic so babies can nap. Leaves are put in the table to squeeze everyone in the dining room, as they want her to feel like this is still her home.
Time for a reality check everyone. Buyers, you are buying a house for everyday living and not a house for 3-4 times a year. Perhaps you serve buffet style, ask guests to have their food ready and not use the kitchen for preparation, have relatives stay with other relatives or in a hotel,and buy where you want to live. The relatives will come and their threats are only threats. To try and find a house for 3-4 times a year is not wise. Select a house for your budget and your needs. Friends and relatives will be happy to just be with you. It is not the brick and motor of your place, it is you that makes the holiday. Believe me, after all my holiday meals I doubt if one guest could tell you what the center piece looked like.
As a parent who held the big, family home for many years so the kids could come home, I so much more enjoy going to their places. They work hard for their place and want to be the one hosting the holiday. They like having their children in their own environment so the little ones don't get fussy. Our children are causal and want a casual holiday. They don't get why anyone would own dishes that can't go in the dishwasher. I learned to let go and let the next generations start traditions. How healthy is it to hold onto a family life that is no longer there? My children do not love me less ,and I have not lost any memories. What I gained was a new relationship with my husband, less stuff to keep, and started my next phase of living. There is a great life after children. Sell the house and see what the future holds for for you.
We think the house makes the holiday but is it the people within it that make the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving.
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